St. Louis Eye Surgery Gives Local Man Super Powers

When Louis Manzillo, a native of St. Louis, got eye surgery this past month, all he expected was better vision. However, Manzillo, 39, got more than he bargained for with the St. Louis eye surgery.

Seattle, WA (prHWY.com) August 28, 2012 - When Louis Manzillo, a native of St. Louis, got eye surgery this past month, all he expected was better vision. However, Manzillo, 39, got more than he bargained for with the St. Louis eye surgery. This is because he didn't just get improved vision. He got super powers. Let Mr. Manzillo explain in his own words:

"I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was amazing. My mother, god bless her soul, has never been the sharpest knife in the drawer. When I was a kid, I was always squinting at everything. My mother gave me a whack on the head every time she saw me do that because she thought I was imitating Mr. Lee, our Chinese neighbor."

Manzillo says that his improved sight has given him powers that were previously denied to him throughout his life. For example, Manzillo broke up with his fiancée soon after he recovered from the St. Louis eye surgery. When asked why, Manzillo simply stated, "She was ugly, man." Manzillo also mustered up the super strength to deflate the tires on the cars of his (formerly) good friends. "They said she looked like a supermodel," said a stoic Manzillo.

Manzillo says that he has saved countless lives since he got his St. Louis eye surgery. "I don't know how I went twenty-three years without running someone over with my car. Man, I really couldn't see nothing. I must have some sort of inner radar, GPS kind of thing happening inside of me." When asked how he passed the required vision test, Manzillo simply said, "Spider-Man can't explain how he can shoot webs from his hands. The Hulk doesn't know all the nuances of the process that causes him to turn green and bust things up. I don't question it, man. I don't question it."

When asked if he can leap buildings in a single bound like his powerful counterpart Superman, Manzillo said, "Nah. I can't do that. But when I came back from Hawaii last week, I saw the arch that everyone always talks about from the plane. That was cool."

As a newly minted superhero, Manzillo hopes to do his part in fighting crime. "Now that I can see people do stuff like rob stores or jaywalk, I can call the police." Manzillo said that he wants to do his part in making St. Louis, Missouri a safer place. "If I use my super powers for good, maybe I'll finally meet that rapper Nelly. My friends say they see him around all the time. They also said Audrey, (Manzillo's former fiancée), was a French model, so I'll believe it when I'm pouring oil over a girl in a thong."

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Tag Words: eye surgery

Categories: Health

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